We Should All Be Feminists

Do Not Open 'til 2016

This time last year I was given the idea to write a letter to myself recapping 2013's events, lessons and overall feeling along with any advice and hopes for 2014. At first I thought it was kind of corny (sorry Drea), but I did it anyway, sealed it up and set it aside for January 1, 2015. Honestly, I totally forgot about the letter until about 11pm yesterday which led to a profanity filled attempt to get it out of the box I stashed it in without having to move anything else blocking it.

I was hesitant to open it, not remembering anything I had written and hoping I didn't put any intense goals or promises to myself in there because I definitely failed. Gratefully, I left goals out of it (I know myself too well) and instead focused on the bigger events from the year and what I learned from them. Ben coming into the world and seeing what a shining light he has been in both Maddie and Trevor's life in his short time here. A trip to Florida that made me grateful for certain kinds of friends. Driving through gorgeous Tahoe on the way to "sleeping" in the mountains of Burney. Reminding myself that nature is and always has been so spiritual and to keep it close; just to name a few.

Surprisingly I loved this letter. Not only was it a condensed version of my journal entries for the year, it was a great source of encouragement from someone who knows me best. There are a few things written down that will carry into 2015 and that's ok, some things take time, but overall it left me smiling and uplifted. After reading it, twice, I decided to write another to open next year, focusing on the same theme from the last letter. If you have never done this and you're feeling skeptical I get it, but just give it a try! Who knows what you're feeling and what to say better than you? Pull out the pen and paper and start today. Happy New Year!

Ugh

Yesterday I had a great day. I took off early from work picked up one best friend and headed north to grab another; our first reunion in months. We laughed and gossiped like old ladies, walked around stores none of us could afford and stuffed our mouths while we laughed and gossiped some more. Perfect night. Once I was back home, reflecting on everything we had talked about, it dawned on me that I have become such a negative person. Or have I always been this way and I'm now just realizing it? I've always been sarcastic and a tad cynical, but mostly for comedic value; self deprecation is my joke of choice. Lately though, I'm quick to anger and even quicker to write someone off as annoying. When did I become a crotchety old woman?? 

I've gotta get myself out of this slump of negativity. Now taking suggestions. 

Four Nights in Phoenix

Labor Day weekend I took my birthday surprise visit out to Phoenix to visit the McEntires in their new city. Things got started off with a hellish ten hour delay and me rage pouting on my couch, finally landing at about 11:30pm. First let me say Arizona is HOTTER THAN HELL. Maddie had been warning me for weeks and I laughed it off saying it had been in the hundreds in Utah, but I take it all back. There is a special, face melting, desert heat going on down there. One of my favorite things about hanging out with the McEntires has always been the ability to go out and be adventurous and explore or sit on the couch, eat cookie dough and watch Netflix. They are lazy adventurers after my own heart. 

We stopped at La Grande Orange for some amazing pizza, walked around old town Scottsdale, stopping to look at The Mission and window shop, ending at the bridge/canal with perfectly strung lights, a live performer and a little lesson about the canal from Trevor. That man can be anywhere for a day and know every environmental aspect and I'm always amazed by it. Saturday we walked through the Phoenix Public Market and I kicked myself for not bringing a legit carry on bag so I could smuggle all of the fresh Arizona honey I could handle. Maybe I'll get some on my doorstep for Christmas....hint. Later that day Trevor and I spent a good hour and a half, maybe more who knows, in the pool just floating, talking and laughing and for me burning. I realized after the weekend was over and I'd spent at least four hours in the water, sizzling in the sun, that maybe I'm not meant to live in a place with year round pool access or I would have skin cancer by 30. I could sit in that water all day, heavenly! 

I loved being back in their house, planting myself on their couch, watching Robin Hood with Ben, laughing, talking about the stuff that matters and wishing the weekend would never end. For three days it was like nothing had ever changed. 

Home Again

In keeping up with my one move per year tradition, I've done it again, this time in a little brick house on 700 east. I didn't realize how much I missed living in an actual house until the last box was set down and we were officially done going to back to the condo on Alpine Way. Such relief! Wednesday was a full eight hours of moving and unpacking, Thursday was more unpacking and a game of Jenga in the living room so we could actually move around, Friday was hours at Ikea and Target for bookcases, rugs and a coffee table and dresser, and Saturday we finally got everything put together and finished. Phew! I love being back on flat ground where there is life! Living on the hill I felt like I never saw anyone outside, just cars flying around the corner on their way out. Now there is always someone walking or biking down the sidewalk, kids out in their yards and people playing in the park across the street. We're also right across the street from an elementary school and every morning as I get ready and leave for work I see all the tiny preschoolers with their over sized backpacks being dropped off and it's the cutest thing ever. This house is already the best.

I love coming home to a real house, there's such a different feeling to it than a condo or apartment. Especially when you live with one of your best friends. It also doesn't hurt that we're greeted by Sunshine the chicken when we come through the back gate. As the last few weeks of summer come to a close we'll enjoy our new screen door (funny how excited both of us were for that!) the beautiful garden our landlord has planted out front and the last little bits of warm sunshine pouring into the house. Meanwhile I'll secretly be moving around the house visualizing where Halloween and Christmas decorations will go.

On Body Image

Over the past two to three years there has been a major increase in body image advertising, almost shifting into propaganda. I get it, we should all love ourselves and not let others influence our self-esteem or tell us we’re not pretty based off of our current weight, but I have beef with this. Now before someone other than the two people I know read this blog freak out and attack me, this opinion is coming from an overweight girl who, as she types this, is stuffing her face with cool ranch Doritos so I know how the fatties feel.  Having self-confidence, to me, is one of the greatest attributes any human being can have. It radiates from you and draws people to you. Some of the best people I know are also some of the most confident. For the most part I think I’m a confident person, I have my moments like we all do, but I finally stopped letting my weight and appearance stop me from enjoying life while, unfortunately, letting my weight control my overall health.

Now that’s out of the way, let me get to my point: being overweight or obese isn’t healthy. I can love the way I look as much as I want, but it won’t change the fact I can’t keep up on a hike or that my knees swell and ache after any sort of activity, and sometimes for no reason at all. You can have the confidence to wear a mini skirt or bikini, but that doesn’t mean your vital organs aren’t working overtime time to keep you alive and moving in that mini skirt. We should love ourselves while also bettering ourselves. Doesn’t that make more sense? I know I run the risk of sounding like a hypocrite by posting this, or even thinking it, and I’ll work on putting my money where my mouth is instead of donuts and potato chips. Being sure to love me for me at the same time of course.

Climbing off my soap box now.

pic via Etsy

Instagram

I have a love-hate relationship with social media and the irony as I type this on a social media site is not lost on me. I love that it brings me closer to friends that have moved and family that I rarely get to see, keeping me up to date on their lives. Really it has created a relationship that we probably wouldn't have other wise. At the same time it can be and is slowly becoming a way for me to compare myself to others. Scrolling through their beautiful feed of pictures and pouring over their seemingly perfect lives. Perfect husbands, children, clothes, home, travels, etc.

I know we only post what looks good , no one wants to post a picture of them in bed with the flu, not having showered for a week. And I know feeling like my life is less than these perfect women is no one's fault but my own, but why is it so hard to not feel this way? I guess it comes down to being satisfied with your own life and not letting others have a bad affect on your happiness. Easier said than done! I want to make more of an effort with out having to completely rid myself of all social media, but I guess if it comes down to it, I lived without it once and I can do it again.