Monday, August 20, 2012

Toxic, and not Britney Spears Toxic

I've always felt like I'm a good judge of character, but for some reason when it comes to choosing my own friends the radar shuts off. I'm a sucker for someone in need especially when it comes to my friends and genetically I can't say no when asked for help so naturally I'm an easy target for fair-weather/selfish/toxic people.

I've told my sob stories to my family, my best friends, co-workers, basically anyone who will listen and whenever they say “get rid of them!” I'm the one not listening. I've been burned, maybe used is a better term, one too many times over the years (asked to live together then ditched, introducing them to new people and again being ditched just to name a couple) and I continue to keep myself susceptible to being hurt.

After this weekend and a very direct text from my mom I've decided I can finally let go. I know one of my biggest excuses for keeping them around was the fear of losing friends, of not having enough friends, but really how many do we need to be happy? Everyone has a different number and having a bigger number isn't worth having constant hurt feelings. Whyyy hasn't it taken me so long to grasp this concept??

On the complete opposite side of these horrible people are three of the BEST friends I've ever had. I've met them all at different times in my life and they are all kind, caring, supportive and of course hilarious. I am beyond grateful for them and they have all helped me in some big or small way to come to this realization no matter how many times they've had to repeat themselves. I am perfectly happy with my small number and there's always room for more, but this time around I'm going to be more aware and careful and listen to those who genuinely care about me.

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