Ugh

Yesterday I had a great day. I took off early from work picked up one best friend and headed north to grab another; our first reunion in months. We laughed and gossiped like old ladies, walked around stores none of us could afford and stuffed our mouths while we laughed and gossiped some more. Perfect night. Once I was back home, reflecting on everything we had talked about, it dawned on me that I have become such a negative person. Or have I always been this way and I'm now just realizing it? I've always been sarcastic and a tad cynical, but mostly for comedic value; self deprecation is my joke of choice. Lately though, I'm quick to anger and even quicker to write someone off as annoying. When did I become a crotchety old woman?? 

I've gotta get myself out of this slump of negativity. Now taking suggestions. 

Four Nights in Phoenix

Labor Day weekend I took my birthday surprise visit out to Phoenix to visit the McEntires in their new city. Things got started off with a hellish ten hour delay and me rage pouting on my couch, finally landing at about 11:30pm. First let me say Arizona is HOTTER THAN HELL. Maddie had been warning me for weeks and I laughed it off saying it had been in the hundreds in Utah, but I take it all back. There is a special, face melting, desert heat going on down there. One of my favorite things about hanging out with the McEntires has always been the ability to go out and be adventurous and explore or sit on the couch, eat cookie dough and watch Netflix. They are lazy adventurers after my own heart. 

We stopped at La Grande Orange for some amazing pizza, walked around old town Scottsdale, stopping to look at The Mission and window shop, ending at the bridge/canal with perfectly strung lights, a live performer and a little lesson about the canal from Trevor. That man can be anywhere for a day and know every environmental aspect and I'm always amazed by it. Saturday we walked through the Phoenix Public Market and I kicked myself for not bringing a legit carry on bag so I could smuggle all of the fresh Arizona honey I could handle. Maybe I'll get some on my doorstep for Christmas....hint. Later that day Trevor and I spent a good hour and a half, maybe more who knows, in the pool just floating, talking and laughing and for me burning. I realized after the weekend was over and I'd spent at least four hours in the water, sizzling in the sun, that maybe I'm not meant to live in a place with year round pool access or I would have skin cancer by 30. I could sit in that water all day, heavenly! 

I loved being back in their house, planting myself on their couch, watching Robin Hood with Ben, laughing, talking about the stuff that matters and wishing the weekend would never end. For three days it was like nothing had ever changed. 

Home Again

In keeping up with my one move per year tradition, I've done it again, this time in a little brick house on 700 east. I didn't realize how much I missed living in an actual house until the last box was set down and we were officially done going to back to the condo on Alpine Way. Such relief! Wednesday was a full eight hours of moving and unpacking, Thursday was more unpacking and a game of Jenga in the living room so we could actually move around, Friday was hours at Ikea and Target for bookcases, rugs and a coffee table and dresser, and Saturday we finally got everything put together and finished. Phew! I love being back on flat ground where there is life! Living on the hill I felt like I never saw anyone outside, just cars flying around the corner on their way out. Now there is always someone walking or biking down the sidewalk, kids out in their yards and people playing in the park across the street. We're also right across the street from an elementary school and every morning as I get ready and leave for work I see all the tiny preschoolers with their over sized backpacks being dropped off and it's the cutest thing ever. This house is already the best.

I love coming home to a real house, there's such a different feeling to it than a condo or apartment. Especially when you live with one of your best friends. It also doesn't hurt that we're greeted by Sunshine the chicken when we come through the back gate. As the last few weeks of summer come to a close we'll enjoy our new screen door (funny how excited both of us were for that!) the beautiful garden our landlord has planted out front and the last little bits of warm sunshine pouring into the house. Meanwhile I'll secretly be moving around the house visualizing where Halloween and Christmas decorations will go.

On Body Image

Over the past two to three years there has been a major increase in body image advertising, almost shifting into propaganda. I get it, we should all love ourselves and not let others influence our self-esteem or tell us we’re not pretty based off of our current weight, but I have beef with this. Now before someone other than the two people I know read this blog freak out and attack me, this opinion is coming from an overweight girl who, as she types this, is stuffing her face with cool ranch Doritos so I know how the fatties feel.  Having self-confidence, to me, is one of the greatest attributes any human being can have. It radiates from you and draws people to you. Some of the best people I know are also some of the most confident. For the most part I think I’m a confident person, I have my moments like we all do, but I finally stopped letting my weight and appearance stop me from enjoying life while, unfortunately, letting my weight control my overall health.

Now that’s out of the way, let me get to my point: being overweight or obese isn’t healthy. I can love the way I look as much as I want, but it won’t change the fact I can’t keep up on a hike or that my knees swell and ache after any sort of activity, and sometimes for no reason at all. You can have the confidence to wear a mini skirt or bikini, but that doesn’t mean your vital organs aren’t working overtime time to keep you alive and moving in that mini skirt. We should love ourselves while also bettering ourselves. Doesn’t that make more sense? I know I run the risk of sounding like a hypocrite by posting this, or even thinking it, and I’ll work on putting my money where my mouth is instead of donuts and potato chips. Being sure to love me for me at the same time of course.

Climbing off my soap box now.

pic via Etsy

Instagram

I have a love-hate relationship with social media and the irony as I type this on a social media site is not lost on me. I love that it brings me closer to friends that have moved and family that I rarely get to see, keeping me up to date on their lives. Really it has created a relationship that we probably wouldn't have other wise. At the same time it can be and is slowly becoming a way for me to compare myself to others. Scrolling through their beautiful feed of pictures and pouring over their seemingly perfect lives. Perfect husbands, children, clothes, home, travels, etc.

I know we only post what looks good , no one wants to post a picture of them in bed with the flu, not having showered for a week. And I know feeling like my life is less than these perfect women is no one's fault but my own, but why is it so hard to not feel this way? I guess it comes down to being satisfied with your own life and not letting others have a bad affect on your happiness. Easier said than done! I want to make more of an effort with out having to completely rid myself of all social media, but I guess if it comes down to it, I lived without it once and I can do it again.

Fourth of July Weekend in Pictures

"It's only by stepping out of your life and the world that you can see what you most deeply care about and find a home." 

-Pico Iyer

A Daily Reminder

Dream Living

Every summer without fail I feel the itch to start anew. Let's be real I get this itch about every three months, but there's something about summer that just makes it more intense. Maybe its the desire to have a little home with a little garden for summer tomatoes and a fall pumpkin. Or the need to mow the lawn on Saturday mornings and pull the weeds in the flower beds. It's hard having dreams of living in a place where all of those things could be a reality and living in a reality where all of those things are dreams.

I drove through the old neighborhoods in Provo yesterday (I might have a new crush on 200 south) and ached to be a part of them! Perfectly manicured lawns, kids out on their bikes, people just outside enjoying the weather. It's hard to come by up here on the hill. I think deep down I know what would make me feel this sense of contentment I've been searching and moving for, but boy is it expensive!

I'm still trying convince Kathy to let me build a tiny house in the backyard, or maybe I'll stake out a spot in the canyon, but until then I will have to keep dreaming and saving up for the life I dream to live.
 

Lately.

Memorial Day weekend I headed down to Del Boca Vista for the first camp out of the season with the family and it was one of the best yet. Days filled with four-wheeler rides, tunes, campfires with s'mores and of course a little work here and there. The best part of the weekend was the decision to detach from the phone, minus using it for music and to text one of my bests on her birthday, it felt SO good. Out in the woods with not a care in the world about what's going on in social media. It was a nice break and something I really need to do more often. The only downside was not having any pictures to prove this perfect camping trip, but that's ok. 

I left on Monday morning for a trip to Payson Lakes with Holly, but when we reached the Grotto trail and the tiny parking lot was over flowing we headed for our second choice, Young Living Farms in Mona. We wandered the gardens and tried to get the horses, mules and camel to warm up to us, but the only action we got was from an annoyed bison. He followed us up and down the fence and we fed him weeds, screaming and laughing the whole time. They are HUGE. We ended the trip with some lavender ice cream, which tastes like dirt, but is really good at the same time. I can't explain it. 

This weekend was perfection and I have hopes and plans to be outside as much as possible this summer. Maybe by some small miracle I'll also get a tan!

The only picture from my weekend:

Angel's Landing

Southern Utah is a magical place, it's one of a kind and I'm so lucky to have it right in my backyard. 

"To stay curious is to stay committed to learning. And if you’re not learning something new, you’re staying in the same place. And while I don’t know everything I want from my life and business yet, I do know that I want to always be learning. Whether I’m learning a new technology, a new piece of photo editing software or just a new trend that’s happening in my community, I want to stay committed to always keeping an open mind. Because an open mind is one that doesn’t miss out on something wonderful just because it’s hidden behind a door that might be hard or scary to open."

-Grace Bonney of Design*Sponge

Mahalo

Where to begin! Maui was a week of pure HEAVEN!! It was like nothing I have ever experienced and now I finally understand why so many people fall in love and dream of living on the islands. We stayed in cute little beach condos with the ocean as our backyard and let me say every ones day would start out so much better if they could eat breakfast while watching the waves crash in! 

Our week was packed full of activities, starting with a drive up into the hills to find the blow hole and famous heart in the rock.  It was also our first attempt at snorkeling which resulted in gasping for air, screaming and a panicked swim back to shore and cut up feet. It's funny looking back, but at the time we were sure that was the end. 

One thing I loved was driving down the highway and seeing all of the surfers, swimmers and campers just pulled off to the side of the road enjoying the beach. One of the roadside beaches is where Drea and I made our second attempt at snorkeling, it went over much better; if you don't count getting trapped in coral.

Next day we made the trek in our minivan across the island to the Road to Hana, 68 miles of winding, TINY road through the Maui hills to the small town of Hana. We walked through forests of bamboo, swam in a COLD waterfall, found my new beachfront property and swam in the warmer waters of Black Sand Beach. And let's not forget swimming in a cave while a beach bum played a didgeridoo. 

My other absolute favorite part was our two whale watching trips. The first was a dinner cruise which made us feel classy and resulted in a lot of Titanic jokes and the second I got rocked by a giant wave and saw whales fight and a baby show off so I guess they were both a win. Lastly we took one final snorkeling trip to Black Rock at Ka'anapali Beach and it was fantastic! Tropical fish, beautiful coral and so many sea turtles! Our last night was spent celebrating Bennett's birthday (Drea's aunt) with pizza, chocolate cake and some laughs (mostly at Paige).

The next morning as we drove to the airport I took in the scenery around me trying to commit everything I saw, heard and smelled to memory. I can honestly say I have never been so sad to leave any place as I was Maui. I guess this just means I'll have to go back!

We Can Dance

Because I'm Happy

The past few days I've been on a happiness high. It could be that I'll be in Hawaii with my best next week, that the sun has been out (and warm!) for the past few days or the amount of Fantasy Factory and Ridiculousness I've been watching, but no matter the cause I don't hate it. It sounds like a no brainer, but it's amazing to see how everyday life changes when you genuinely feel happy.

Goshen

Still

Most nights my roommates, and sometimes myself, find ourselves in bed at a time my nineteen year old self would have called me a loser for. And if I'm being honest sometimes my twenty-seven year old self does now. I guess it's part of being a responsible adult, something I avoid looking in the eye in hopes of squeezing out what's left of my acceptable kidulthood. Though I'm usually cooped up in my bedroom on these nights I've come to enjoy them. I putter around the room, look up songs, paint my nails, read, research my current obsessions and more often than not binge watch whatever I have queued up on Netflix. Though there are times I wish we would stay up until all hours of the night, I am grateful for that perfect moment when the house is still and I truly relax.

Changes

My best friend is moving to Arizona in three days. THREE DAYS. Besides my initial mental breakdown (Drea knows what I'm talking about) I've been holding in the tears pretty well...so far. "Arizona's a state away, Provo airport flies out to Mesa, we can text, call, email!" This has been my mantra for basically the past month and will probably have to continue well into the next few months at least.

Even though I'm incredibly sad and we've ignored any sort of hug or goodbye I'm trying to take some good out of the situation and by trying I mean grasping for any possible good outcome. What I've come up with is being inspired by the huge change that's on the way for their family. Change is scary, terrifying if you're me, but living in fear is not living! With my new found inspiration I will make an effort to put plans in motion and make things happen.

Imma miss ya fren.

That Time of Year

Even though the word ‘resolution’ is synonymous with failure in my mind, I’ve decided to make just one for 2014. Something attainable, that I probably won’t consider that difficult until I put it into action.

NO PHONES AT THE TABLE

I can’t even recall the last time I’ve gone out to eat with friends or family when a phone has been in someone’s hand, mine included. And for what? Most of the people I text are sitting at the table with me and there’s no reason to check Twitter or Instagram when I could be talking and laughing with those right in front of me. I also didn’t realize how rude it looked or how ignored friends felt when trying to talk to me until I was on the other side of the phone. 

I don’t like the power technology and our phones have to grab our attention away from those that matter most so with that in mind I will leave the phone in my bag or pocket while out with friends or family and I encourage all of us to do the same!

2014